Cooking New...

This month and last month I've really put my cooking skills to work! I've cooked new things and tried to cook using less ingredients. I really want to make it where most all our meals average $5 each. That would be $1 per person! That would be great! Most of my meals are averaging $7 and that is still not bad, considering we eat meat at every meal and fruit and veggies are served as well. A lot of foods richer in flavor cost more to make. But we've managed well so far. Tomorrow is the 15th, so we are half way through this month! That is encouraging to me! I've been able to keep my grocery store spending down, and really focusing on my meal plans. I use to do menu plans, but would change them if I didn't feel like cooking something or sometimes I would fail to buy the right stuff and end up doing something else. Then ingredients would go bad. So far this month, nothing has expired, gone sour or been trashed. We are using all our resources. I really like this! I know the grocery shopping area of our budget needed a makeover, but I didn't know how bad it really was until I documented everything! Now we are planning wiser, shopping wiser and learning daily. I still have much to learn, and love reading about others expereinces and how they are accomplishing the goal of living well and spending less. I am part of a closed group on facebook, that is helping me see ways that I can cut back and save more! I am also part of a 40 bags in 40 days group. Working to decrapify our homes and lives! I have not removed 14 bags from my house yet, but I've done a lot over the past two months to decrapify! I'm hoping to clean out our shed soon! We have to borrow a truck, but that won't be a problem. Someone is also giving us bunkbeds for the boys, but I need to get them picked up! Do you have a system you use for grocery shopping and menu planning that helps your budget? Do you even have a budget? This is fairly new to us, we realized last year that after all the bills are paid, we SHOULD have MORE money leftover then we actually do. All this little spending was slowly robbing our bank account. So now we are in control once again. Telling our money where to go before it tells us where it went! This is a new year for us! We are excited to see where the Lord will lead us to serve as we prepare ourselves for his Will!

I've had enough!

These are the words shouted from my 7 year old to her brothers. I'm sure she has heard me say this before! It's always humbling to hear your words come out of your child's mouth. How many times have you had this conversation with God? Or yourself? I've had ENOUGH! Enough of the pain, enough of the frustration, enough of the lies, enough of the doubt. Enough. I remember as a child hearing someone say, "Enough is Enough". I still don't know what that means. I do know that after a long day, hearing my kids fuss and cry and yell at each other it makes me want to shout out ENOUGH! I think most days when we are that breaking point in our lives with God and we YELL out ENOUGH, God isn't upset with us, he is made glad. He is patient and he waits for us. When we get to that breaking point we are able to allow God to do what he needs to do. Often time we blame God for the pain and the hurt and we choose to walk in a way that does not show honor to God. When I yell out ENOUGH, my children know that something is about to change. Maybe our prayers should be enough of me trying to do things my way, enough of the enemy walking all over me, enough of me getting in the way of what God is wanting to do. Lord, I've had enough! Now I'm ready!

Personal Testimony

As part of my exam for Tuesday's class, I have to submit my personal testimony. While writing it out tonight, I was compelled to blog about it! This is the basic "how I came to know Jesus" story. But either way, it's my story! 

As a young child, I attended church as part of family heritage and tradition. I was involved in the Methodist church and participated in all things church related. I was 11 years old when I went on my first missions trip to Mexico.

At the age of 12, my mother was invited to attend “Heavens Gates and Hell’s flames” at a local Assemblies of God church. It was during that dramatization I learned there is a heaven and a hell. Up until then I had no knowledge of hell. I gave my heart to Jesus that night in 1992, mostly in fear of going to Hell. The church where we visited had a substantial youth group, so my mother decided to leave the Methodist church and we started attending the Assemblies of God church.

I spent the next few years trying to be “good” and do what would be pleasing to my mother and the church. I attended youth group and Sunday school faithfully, sang the songs, went on all the trips, (including three AIM trips) and played the part. Somehow after sitting through hundreds of sermons over the course of five years, I missed that there was a relationship to be had. I had religion, and fear of hell.

I was hoping to attend an Assemblies of God college, when my plans were re-directed. Birmingham Metro Masters Commission of Alabaster, AL presented the Gospel during youth convention my senior year. I had never seen young people on fire for God, full of the Holy Spirit until then.  It was exciting to me. I filled out an application and several months later I was on my way to live in Alabama. Upon entering this ministry program, I had to work through several layers of personal pain and heartache. I had to discover Jesus Christ as my personal Savior. It was a long journey, but over the course of the next two years I fell passionately in love with Jesus. I was truly his child and he was my King! I begin to love prayer, and worship and reading his Word. Up until then, I only read my bible during church, now I was reading it daily and could not get enough! I was baptized during our graduation service of my first year. I begin to pray that God would help me live a life that would please Him.

Fast forward 16 years, and here we are today. I am still following Jesus with my heart, soul, mind and strength. I have never looked back or regretted the moment when I decided that I would follow Jesus. I am thankful for my Christian heritage within my family, but more so, I’m thankful for strangers who passionately followed Jesus and were not ashamed of him! Being from the South, it is common to be a church-goer, it was an easy role to follow. I wanted more than that. I wanted to be sold out and radical for Jesus Christ. And I still do today!

I'm not "That Mom."

Title: I'm Not "That Mom"

I was the baby of my family for 17 years. I didn't spend days upon days dreaming about being a mommy. I did have a baby-doll, named Jody, and she was my world as a toddler.  I do recall having baby names picked out as a young teen, but only because all the other girls did that. When I seventeen, I moved away from my home and family in North Carolina, and attended a ministry program in Alabama. It was there that I dedicated my life to the Lord and chose to accept His Call on my life. Now fast forward 16 years to the present day. I am no longer the baby of my family, I have a wonderful little sister. I am no longer single, I married a handsome godly man, and now have three beautiful children on earth, and one in heaven. We live on the Mississippi Gulf Coast. We are youth pastors at a church. We've had this role before, we were in Seguin, Texas for 5 years as youth and children's pastors. The only difference now is that we have 3 children. Life with children and life without are two worlds apart. When I had my daughter, I was 25 years old. I remember being so nervous about the big picture. I knew I could deliver her with the help of a great hospital, and I could feed her and change her diaper. I had that all under control. It was the parent part that scared me. I had dealt with many parents of teens and children, but becoming one was terrifying for me! I was so afraid of messing up! It took me a little while to get pregnant with my daughter, so we didn't want to wait to long to start trying again for another. Little did I know, that you are more fertile after giving birth. So 15 months later, I welcomed a little boy into my world. This only amplified my fear of parenting. Now I was responsible for two little lives! We made a life change and moved across country to North Carolina. We lived with my mother. My husband took a job at a local box plant, and I stayed at home with the kids. Everyday when he would get home at 4:15 I would check out mentally and physically. I would shower and try to relax. I always felt like I was at the mercy of my children. That they were in charge. They called the shots. It was very life changing for me, the independent girl who left home at the age of 17, was now being ruled by a baby and a 1 year old. My little girl was also showing signs of a speech delay, making matters worse. She was not able to communicate with me, and so we were both frustrated. I look back at those days and think they were so LONG! I was always tired, stressed and scared that I was not doing a good job at being a mom. I had read all the right books, followed the rules, and attend church faithfully.

I wanted to be "that mom" you know the one who is calm, the one who never raises her voice, or her hand. The one that speaks so sweetly to her kids. The one who always has an extra change of clothes for the baby and herself. The one who has the healthy snacks, the one who prays sweet prayers over her children each night while they sleep. The one who, scrapbooks every memory, blogs, bakes homemade goodies all the time, cooks from scratch, creates recipes, sews all the kids clothing, crafts with the kids daily, and throws the biggest birthday bashes on the planet. The one who reads to their child and inspires learning. The one who teaches their child sign language as an infant and how to read and write before Kindergarten. The one who has their child quoting the Bible and singing solos in the church or playing the piano at the tender age of 4. The mom that home schools, takes cool field trips, I wanted to be "that mom" not the mom I was. I struggled daily with who I was NOT, instead of thanking God for what I actually was. I had friends who seem to have the "mom card" down. They knew what to do when, where and why. I was always checking books, the internet and doubting myself.

I had not embraced who I was in Christ. I had not embraced the power that was within me. I had not allowed God to lead me into the role as "mother." I learned so much about the love God has for me as his Child once I had my own children. I learned that all things are possible with him.

In 2009, my husband was offered a job at a Children's home, with one exception, his wife must come with him and work too. That was me. The wife. The mother of two. The girl who had it all together on the outside, but felt like I was not doing a good job as a mother on the inside. The ironic part is that we took on a job, as "Teaching Parents" in a home for troubled teens. I was about to be paid to be a parent. The very part of my heart that felt like I the failing the most at was now being put to the test, publicly! This particular home used what is known as the Teaching Family Model.  I know that God ordained our steps when we took this job. The training for the model was quickly adapted and used with our own children. I for once felt like I was the one in charge! We started in March, and in September, we welcomed another baby boy. I was by this time, I was fully trained in this model and walking toward being the mom God designed me to be. Keeping in mind that when my little one was born my other two were still in diapers. So that is three of them in diapers at the same time. My job paid for diapers! (I should have been "that mom" who uses cloth diapers) I was thankful when my oldest decided to finally use the potty. Again- because she was 3 and 1/2 before she used the potty it was another "fail" in my eyes. Every time my child didn't meet the "norm" or the by the book growth requirements, I felt like I failed. The model we used empowers the child to make choices and allows them to see that their behavior determines the consequence. Good behavior equals desired consequence, poor behaviors results in less desired consequence. The consequence should reflect the behavior. So if the child refused to follow instructions, then the consequence would be centered around that, practicing following instructions, or doing small task that require you to follow instructions and complete them. Until they were willing to complete their consequence, they remained at a stand still- no exciting outings, or family fun. It was their choice. They chose their behavior, therefore they chose how they spent their day. Helping them learn they are in charge of themselves was a great task, but very fulfilling. We used this similar model with our kids, but instead of just trying to get them to model good behaviors because we asked them to, we wanted get to the heart of the matter. The Teaching Family model isn't a christian model, but it works really well as a starting point. We didn't want to just create robots that do what we want. We didn't want to just modify the outward behavior.

We had the opportunity to attend a two day workshop by Tedd Trip, author of Shepherding a Child's Heart. It was in downtown Charlotte at First Baptist Church.  I remember when we went I was so eager to learn everything I could. I took more notes than anyone and my brain was a sponge and my heart was encouraged. I felt as if God has came down and sat with me during those services. I was finally able to smile when I thought about the privilege I have to the be mother of my three children. Pastor Tripp's style of teaching was intense. I bought his book and took it home the first night. I remember feeling a little under educated as I tried to make sense of it all. The next day, he begin to speak of Ginger Plowman, another author who wrote a book titled "Don't make me count to three." Along with other books about training up children.  She also had a chart that made a quick reference of scriptures that deal with issues day in and day out. It's called Wise Words for Moms. It's a handy chart that every mother should have! I purchased her book and the chart at the workshop too, and read it in two days. I could relate to her writing style better than Pastor Tripp. They both speak about the same subject, not trying to merely correct the outward behavior of the child, but the inward motives for the behavior. The children's home we worked for didn't encourage the use of the Bible as an instruction manual for life, and we were encouraged to not use it for examples when doing a teaching interaction. This sadden our hearts, and we knew quickly that our time there was finished. The Lord opened the doors for us to move to South Mississippi. We moved to Waveland, MS in 2010. My husband took on the role as Youth/Associate Pastor once again, and I became a stay at home mom, again. Though this time around I was more prepared! I had discovered the Duggar Family Rules, and posted them up in the house. My children were only 4, 2, 10 months when we moved here, so the rules were more for me to set up a foundation of what is expected in the home. I admit that the methods we use now for behavioral management wouldn't work as well for the younger kids, you have to modify and simplify it for them. You also have to take into consideration the child. Every child is different and will respond differently. The older they got, the more expectations we had for them. They are now 7, 6, and 4. This summer we started using the behavior chart found on the website: Oh My Gluestick. This chart helped provide a visual aid for my children. We also incorporated the pom pom and jars that she mentioned. We started this chart in May of 2013 and it's still going strong in the Cook house. The kids know the rules that we have set. They know that if they don't follow the rules, they must move their clips down on the chart. They also know that no-one is in charge of their behaviors except for them. Blaming someone else and saying "he made," or "she made" me do it, won't fly around here. We have decided to review our rules as a refresher. For several weeks, we took Sunday nights to teach one rule. I sat down at the table with them and had them write the rule out, then draw a picture of them obeying that rule or create a drawing that helps them actively embrace the rules. The weeks that we were busy and skipped, my daughter quickly reminded me that we need to make it up and not let it slide! Amazing how kids function under a structured environment.

I remember being told that in the middle of my chaos with them as little children, that they "just needed structure and routine" and you might as well said they needed millions of dollars worth of surgery or something else out of reach. I was not at a place where I could begin to put structure in, routine in, or order. My life was not in turmoil, or a whirlwind, I had no trauma or grief that would stop me from being their mom, and creating order. I had no reason not to be there for my kids.  I was just in need of a savior. I needed the Lord to remind me that he blessed us with these children, we were the only parents they had and the time I had was short with them. I had to embrace the fact that I may not be "That MOM" but I am their mom! Powerful revelation. I will say it again, I may not be "That Mom" but I am "Their Mom!" This is something I have to remind myself of daily. Even Saturday when I was at the soccer field, I had to retrieve something from my van, I was drawn to the van next to me, they had a bowl full of fruit sitting on the front seat. It was then I thought to myself- oh that's a good idea! I should be like that! Instead we had crackers and junk food in our van.

I think we all have moms that we want to be like, we see people living, and giving to their children and we want to do better. Yet we often see mom's who aren't doing so great with their kids and say to ourselves "well at least I'm not that bad!" This concept is sad too- because as Children of God, we should strive to do our best. One saying that has stuck with me over the years, is we do our best and let God do the rest!

Read with me in the Word of God

James 1:5 If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.

Colossians 3:17 And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. 

Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.

Proverbs 29:17 Discipline your son, and he will give you rest; he will give delight to your heart.

1 Corinthians 15:58 Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain.

Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through him who strengthens me.

2 Corinthians 12:9-10 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Psalm 118:14 The Lord is my strength and my song; he has become my salvation.

These are all truths that I stand on. I am still a work in progress and I raise my voice and get flustered when my kids get into arguments, or get loud. Even while I typed this, I had to take a break and remind them of the expectations we have for them. One of my current hardships with discipline is in the area of behaving during a church service. Because my husband is a youth pastor, we are there every time the doors open and even when they aren't! The kids see the church as a second home most days. So they have a tendency to act up, fight or argue during church.  My pride gets the best of me, and I feel that other people are judging me, for my child's behavior and unwillingness to participate. We are working with them on it! I always tell them that by them learning to obey mommy and daddy now, it will make it easier for them in life to obey the Lord when they are an adult. It's so important that they learn to obey. Obedience is better than sacrifice. Helping others and showing compassion are key points we cover too.

I pray daily that the Lord will help me be the mom he needs me to be for them. I count it all joy, the hardships, the pain, the tears, and all the fun moments in between. I pray that someone reading this is encouraged. That you can relate. No one has perfect children. No one has perfect parents. But we do have hope, because we have a perfect role model for both. God the Father, and God the Son. I encourage you to look at your behavior toward the Lord. How similar is it to the behaviors your child shows you? Do you constantly whine, and cry and complain or tattle? Or do you remain thankful, honest and open to what the Lord has for you? Do you ask the Lord for something and not wait on the answer before you act? My children do that often! I pray today that the Lord wraps his arms around you, that you feel his embrace, that you sit at his feet a little while and reflect on the truths of the scriptures posted in this blogpost. Remember, God knew you and your child BEFORE you were even a thought- before you were formed in the womb. He knew you. You can trust him with your weaknesses. He is not surprised by them. He is ready for you. Are you ready?

Great is Thy Faithfulness

Do you know that the Lord is fully aware of your heartache? Often times we feel like no one cares about what we are battling or what haunts us. We are left disappointed when our friends, sisters, parents, co-workers or husbands don't comfort us, or seem to show concern when we are hurting. We fail to realize that God is waiting on us to cast our cares on him.

1 Peter 5:7 casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you Psalm 34:18 The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

This is good news to anyway who is hurting today, or feels like they are suffering alone. As humans we will often times be unsuccessful at being Christ-like. Yet God never fails.

Great is thy faithfulness... Lamentations 3:22-23
22 Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed,
    for his compassions never fail.
23 They are new every morning;
    great is your faithfulness.

Think about the lyrics to this beloved hymn and let it seep into your soul. Be encouraged. You are not alone. God is with you!

Great is Thy faithfulness, O God my Father;
There is no shadow of turning with Thee,
Thou changest not, Thy compassions they fail not,
As Thou hast been,Thou forever wilt be.

Great is Thy faithfulness!
Great is Thy faithfulness!
Morning by morning new mercies I see
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord unto me!
Summer and winter and springtime and harvest,
Sun, moon, and stars in their courses above;
Join with all nature in manifold witness,
To Thy great faithfulness, mercy, and love.

Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth,
Thine own great presence to cheer and to guide;
Strength for today, and bright hope for tomorrow
Blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside.

Use it UP!

In an effort to make every day count this year, I've also decided to make every dollar count too! Going on a budget is not a new concept for me or my family. Once in our life we were  $10,000 in debt over a credit card and had nothing to show for it. I vowed then not to ever do that again! We were only into our 2nd year of marriage. We had no guidance with our money (not sure if we would have listened anyway!) But once it was all gone, and reality hit, we begin to tackle our budge head first. I told my husband that I did NOT want to start a family with debt at bay. We needed total control. We did it. We were able to in 2 years snowball that debt. It was amazing. It was a God thing! Now we've been married for 13 years and though we've never been deep in over our head with credit card debt, we still don't have good spending habits. We no longer carry debt over from month to month. I do use credit cards, but I also pay them off at the end of each month. Once I sat down and really looked at where our money was going I was heartbroken. Hard to believe we can waste so much. So I have taken the last two weeks to really get my head in the game! I have listened to Dave Ramsey's total money makeover and I have organized all receipts and got a harsh look into my habits.

Yesterday, I was asking on Facebook if anyone had a peanut butter recipe that they would share. I had did an inventory of my pantry and found 8 jars of peanut butter! Yikes! I also did inventory on my freezer and when I was finished I felt like I had just been shopping. I realized that I typically gauge my need to shop for food on how my fridge looks. If it is bare then I head to the store! NO MORE! Anyway a friend on Facebook told me about a blog-post she had read titled: Operation Use it UP! I loved the name operation use it up! That struck a cord with me. That is what I am doing! I was doing it with food, and now I'm doing it with other stuff too! I've cleaned out my bathroom and found those pesky bottles that have just a little shampoo in it and I'm using it up! I made peanut butter cookies for the first time yesterday. They turned out great and I didn't have to buy anything and used up two jars of peanut butter! I love the idea of living with less, spending less.

We've always been good about not buying big items, expensive items, unless we save up and pay cash. But my little trips to Walmart and Dollar General were taking away more money than I expected! I have also changed my method of menu planning for the next few months. I will plan according to what I have first, then go pick up the few things I need. I normally cook what we want and then see what I have and buy what I need. Making it where I buy more than I need and end up wasting food that was bought before.

So I'm still here and will still be blogging. I've just taken some time off to get some personal things in order! I'm excited to see what God is going to through this!

Spiritually Sick...

Sunday morning, our pastor spoke of a Spiritual Check up that we are in need of. Often times when we are physically sick we will put off going to the doctor. I do, simply because I am a cash patient, and it's not always easy to find and extra $150 to go to the doctor. We also put off spiritual check ups, because they cost us something other than money- they cost us time. I decided to search online and read a few articles about spiritual check ups. My favorite came from "Our Daily Bread"

I suggest that we get over our reluctance. With God’s guidance, let’s undergo a spiritual checkup, using Proverbs 4:20-27 as a checklist

Ears (v.20): Are we hearing God’s Word clearly and with understanding? Are we doing what those words tell us?

Eyes (vv.21,25): Are we keeping our eyes on the teachings that will guide us toward righteousness?

Heart (v.23): Are we protecting our heart from evil?

Tongue (v.24): Is our mouth clean and pure?

Feet (v.26): Are we walking straight toward God’s truth without wavering?

How did you do on your examination? Are there areas where you need to take action? Regular checkups will help to restore your spiritual vitality.

Create in me a clean heart, O God,
Show me the way that Jesus has trod;
Then I will tell of Your saving grace,
Until the day when I see Your face.  —Hess

A spiritual checkup is the key to spiritual health.

I really like how this was put. I had to ask myself these questions. I know there are areas of my life that can use a fine tuning from the Lord. Areas of my life that I have allowed to be covered. Areas that I fear, due to what others will think, or due to what God may do. 

Are you willing to commit to a spiritual check up? More than once a year, month, week? How about a daily one? Something worth thinking about! 

I had to visit my doctor this week, and the whole process is no fun. Between the blood work and the waiting game and the exam, I was ready to be finished with everything! I remember thinking "I'm glad this is only once a year!" A lot can happen in a year. Physically. Even more so, SPIRITUALLY. Don't wait until you are spiritually sick to seek truth, and help. Go now. Like for real- turn off the computer and go. Shut down the phone and go. Pack your bags and go. Run to Jesus! 

I'm running, I'm running, I'm running to the mercy seat, where Jesus.....

Staci

Perfect Peace

There is nothing perfect about my life. Ideal yes, but not perfect. It really strikes me when I read...

Isaiah 26:3
You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.

Ahh- the magic word "perfect" followed by another wonderful word- peace. Where do you find rest? How often do you purpose yourself to rest? Being in the ministry, Sunday is not always a day of rest for us. In fact some Sunday's we are exhausted by the end of the day. That is why I rarely schedule anything on Monday. That is my husbands day off, and therefore its our "seventh day" our day of rest, our day of peace. I search for peace, and rest. I don't always find the entire rest that I need, nor the peace, but the good news is... it's there. Waiting for me! I have to ask the Lord to remove more of me add more of him in my life. 

I strive for perfection in so many areas of my life. I don't always achieve it, but that doesn't stop me from wanting it. I know that I can't be perfect. I can't have the perfect house, the perfect kids, or the perfect body- or even the perfect spiritual health. I do know that one thing I can have is "perfect peace". Which in this day and age is quite a lot. 

Over and Over

This weekend I took time to clean the garage out. Thanks to my darling husband we were able to get it back to the way I like it! After cleaning it, we used the leaf blower to blow out the dirt and leaves that the van brings in. I then decided I could blow the leaves all together around the paved area so that I don't carry more leaves in when I drive over it. Once I got a nice line of leaves I took the rake and begin to make piles. I finished with just 6 piles and only covered a small area of the ground! One thing I noticed as I raked, not all the leaves were brought into the pile. Some were broken into smaller pieces and left on the ground. I learned in a few minutes that it was impossible to get every leaf fragment up off the ground. I was even a bit discouraged when I turned around and realized how big my front yard is and how many leaves I had to still rake. The more I raked, the more my mind begin to drift into the ways of the Lord. It never fails- anytime I am out working in the yard, or close to nature I feel closer to God! Maybe because he created it all, or maybe because I don't do it often and so it's a break from the norm. Either way I always can feel the Lord speaking to me during those times. 

As I thought about those broken pieces and how I could not pick them up, I realized that they become part of the ground- they in fact create carbon dioxide. Over time, decaying leaves release carbon back into the atmosphere as carbon dioxide! So the very thing that seams dead and somewhat a pain, becomes something life giving. Okay so if you aren't following me just yet, hold fast it's coming!

There are parts of our past and our history that have just crumbled before us, we've seen pain and thought we could never get up all the broken pieces of our lives or our hearts. Then we feel defeated, as I did with my yard, and then the light comes on. Joy seeps in,  you see that God can use your pain for his purpose. God will not waste your pain. Your season of defeat, depression, despair can all be used for a Kingdom purpose. 

What an encouraging thought. We may not understand our pain, nor his purpose, but we can trust the process! Let those broken pieces be used for good. It is not God's desire that we have pain and suffering in our lives. Lawlessness brought that on. We live in a very broken world. Most all of us are broken vessels. Some brokenness we have came from choices we made and some from choices others made. Either way we can't change what happens to us, we can only move forward and allow God to use it for his glory. 

Isaiah 43:19 ESV

Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert. 

Thank you Lord for doing a new thing in my life and in my heart. Thank you for making a way when there seems to be no way! 

Be encouraged, 

Staci

Ding, Ding, Ding

My van has this wonderful contraption built into the system. It keeps me on track. It helps me do what is right and prevents me from having my day interrupted intentionally. The magical ding ding ding sound that comes when I leave my keys in the ignition. What a wonderful invention! I found myself smiling today as it made the sound over and over. It was a great reminder that I needed to remove my keys before removing myself and locking the doors. This made me think of the Holy Spirit and how he prompts us. When our soul is being pulled into an area of danger or sin, the Holy Spirit will begin to warn us. Yet just like those dings we hear in our automobiles, often we ignore them. We often tune it out and act without taking heed to the warning. Then we are frustrated that our keys are locked in our vehicles or that our battery is dead (the ding occurs too if the interior lights are left on) and we begin to ask WHY? We feel as if we have been let down, forgotten about and often we get angry. All because we didn't heed the warning of the ding! Think about how we react when we've lived in sin and had behaviors that do not bring Glory and honor to the Lord. When we finally stop and look around we get angry that the Lord allowed us to endure a pain or go through something. Often times the pain we carry is not from the choices we make, but there are times when we in fact brought the pain on ourselves. We chose not to die to self that day and therefore we lived in the flesh. Then we ask God where he was when _____________(Fill in the blank) happened? And though our God is a loving a merciful God, I'm sure at times he would like to respond with "I am right where you LEFT ME." Ouch. Toes officially stepped on. If we start our day with the thought that we belong to the Lord and invite him to be not just a part of our day, but be our entire day. If we give the Holy Spirit full reign in our lives to do as he pleases, then when things happen to us through out our day we can COUNT IT ALL JOY. Whoa- did I just type that? Deep breath- and big girl pill please! This scripture in Romans helps us to understand better....

Romans 8:16-26 (New Living Translation)

16 For his Holy Spirit speaks to us deep in our hearts and tells us that we are God's children. 17And since we are his children, we will share his treasures -- for everything God gives to his Son, Christ, is ours, too. But if we are to share his glory, we must also share his suffering. 18 Yet what we suffer now is nothing compared to the glory he will give us later. 19 For all creation is waiting eagerly for that future day when God will reveal who his children really are. 20 Against its will, everything on earth was subjected to God's curse. 21 All creation anticipates the day when it will join God's children in glorious freedom from death and decay. 22 For we know that all creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. 23 And even we Christians, although we have the Holy Spirit within us as a foretaste of future glory, also groan to be released from pain and suffering. We, too, wait anxiously for that day when God will give us our full rights as his children, including the new bodies he has promised us. 24 Now that we are saved, we eagerly look forward to this freedom. For if you already have something, you don't need to hope for it. 25 But if we look forward to something we don't have yet, we must wait patiently and confidently. 26 And the Holy Spirit helps us in our distress. For we don't even know what we should pray for, nor how we should pray. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words.

So you see friends, we all want the blessings of God, but we don't want the sufferings that go along with it. Yet most of our sufferings are not brought onto us because of the cross we carry- it's more about the cross we forgot to pick up. We ignored the DING DING DING. We walked out without the armor. We are stark naked and the enemy is fully aware of it too. There are those we read about who truly suffer for the cause of Christ. Typically we are not those people. We have yet to embrace that type of relationship with the Lord. That closeness. Some would be scared to be that close to the Lord. Why would we want to encourage pain and suffering? We are not people who enjoy pain. We are not people who call on suffering and invite it over for tea. We push it away. Scream for it to leave. Fight until it's gone or until we can't fight any longer. 

We must ask ourselves what is in the way of me and The Lord? What is one area of my life that I have yet to give over to the Lord to work? Am I willing to let that part go and let him have his way? Am I willing to TRUST him. Trust that he will not only see me through- but I will behold all the riches that the Lord has for me?  He didn't create us to destroy us, as my boys do with their Lego towers. He created us to please him. Why would he want us to endure anything we didn't have to? Why would he want us to deal with something so harshly that we turn away from him? We often point the finger at the wrong person. We point at the Lord and say WHY WHY WHY.... instead of putting pain-blame where it belongs... to the enemy of our souls. He seeks to kill, steal and destroy. He offers no promises and no hope for a future. Yet we bow to him daily when we fail to take up our cross. OUCH again. Still preaching to the choir. Lord help us. Be our NUMBER ONE. Help me. Teach me how to seek you with my whole heart. 

Remember, and remind me dear friend, that our biggest victories are not won on our feet, but on our knees. The clean houses, empty sinks, and organized homes are a good thing, but not the best thing. I've never worn out the knees of any pair of pants from prayer... have you? 

Convicted,

Staci

Fully Aware!

Today I listen to a podcast from Andy Stanley. The whole message was about family. He made a statement that his wife says often "The days are long, the years are short." This really stuck to me like bubble gum sticks to the bottom of your shoe on a hot summer day. That quote really sums up my life! Just this week my darling and I were talking about how we lived in Seguin for 5 years. We are celebrating our 4th year here in Mississippi this summer! It's so strange how time goes by faster as you age. The 5 years we did in Texas seemed sooooo long compared to the time we've been here. It's not that we enjoyed being one place more than the next, I am certain it has to with having Children and us being older. Having Children in school makes the year fly by! Everything you do is based on that school calender year. Your vacations, where you go during the day, the appointments you make. Everything has to coincide with the school. So you operate from August to May instead of Jan- December. I am shocked that the kids are approaching their 100th day mark again! Didn't that just happen last year? Each year goes by so fast. Yet there are some days that seem to never end! How do you figure? Ever have a day that just won't stop? The sun wont set fast enough and you can't get to your bed fast enough? I've looked at the clock at 6:45 pm and thought it was surely 10 pm. Only to be disappointed that it was barely dark. I have days that I can't get everything I want to get done and those days seem to go by fast. There is a Facebook page titled "hands-free revolution" and that page has helped me keep things in preservative when it comes to my children. It encourages you to be fully aware when you are with your children (or others for that matter) I have been guilty of catching up on Facebook while watching a show with my children, or while they play. I think I'm being a supermom because I am multi-tasking. I am able to keep up with friends while I spend time with my family. Then one day it hit me, in a few years I will be the one wanting the kids to spend time with me and put their devices away- talk to me not their friends. I will want to be the important one in the room. I was truly convicted of my behavior. I had justified my phone usage because I'm usually not playing games or "wasting time" but actually encouraging others, or giving of myself to them. There in lies the problem. I am giving of my time to others while my beautiful children sit next to me cuddled up. Oh how these days will be days missed  in the future. The not so distant future. I need to take time to cuddle, take time to laugh- to look at the things my kids ask me to look at. Remind them that I am their biggest fan. Cheer the loudest and encourage the most. There is a time for everything, how do I know that? Well the Word of God tells me in Ephesians. A time for everything....

Ephesians 3:1

There is a time for everything,  and a season for every activity under the heaven,

Right now the time is for my children and for me to embrace them as little ones. For they will never be little again! They will spend more time being an adult than a child! It's my turn to be the influence in their life. I need to be there. Be fully aware. The days may be long- but the years are short.... let it sink it. 

R-e-s-p-e-c-t

In our girls youth class last night we talked about true purity. We discussed Respect and if it was a need or a want.

1 Peter 2:3 When Jesus was reviled he did not revile in return.

We are suppose to be more like Jesus. So when we are treated poorly, we are not to fight back and justify our behaviors. We are to look to The Lord's strength and pattern our response like his.  This hit close to home for me. Just this week I spoke to another person about how my mouth can get me into trouble. If  I feel like my side of the story is not shared I feel the need to tell it. If my personal view is being attacked, I feel the need to talk back and prove them wrong. This is not the case when it comes to the way Jesus handled things. 

Help me Lord to be more like you! 

Holding my tongue, 

Staci

Commit

Most people are afraid of making a commitment, but not receiving one. I can only image how many times the Lord has heard someone say that they will commit to doing something, only to fail the very next thought, breath, or step. Making a commitment to me and making one to the Lord are two very separate things. You see when we commit to the Lord, he has a promise with it... that he will ESTABLISH your plans. 

Websters defines Establish: to cause (someone or something) to be widely known and accepted. : to put
(someone or something) in a position, role, etc., that will last for a long time.

This sounds a bit like FAVOR. 

Don't we all seek favor from the Lord? This is exciting for me! I am at a place in my life now where I am not sure what the Lord wants my hands to be busy doing. There are many ministries that I enjoy and many that I would miss, but I don't want to spend my life not doing what God designed me to do! My heart at times feels like it could explode. I desire to be in the perfect WILL of God, and sometimes get caught up in the little things. I am thankful to know that I can commit to the Lord and he will establish my plans. This has been on my heart for the past few days. Just knowing that as God is the center all will work out, I've preached it, taught it and prayed it for years, but it means something to me now. Now that I see it in the word- knowing that it's not just some Christian cliche, it's actual Truth, it has increased my faith! Thank you Lord for this promise!  I need to make a little notebook or a notepad on my phone that keeps up with the promises that I find this year! Then I can have a quick reference guide when I feel discouraged or uncertain!

Growing in Grace,
Staci

I thank God for YOU!

Today is my 13th anniversary. I am so thankful for my sweet husband and the Joy that comes from being his wife! We have traveled down many roads and have been blessed. When we married each other in 2001, I had no idea where God would take us and how our marriage would impact others. We both desperately wanted to be used by God for his Glory! I stand amazed at times at how much we grown as a couple in the past 13 years. We started dating 15 years ago, even then our relationship was more mature than that of some of our friends. We didn't fight, argue or play games with each other about "breaking up" we were serious about getting to know each other and had marriage in mind. When we got married I didn't feel like we were too young, I felt like it was perfect timing. Now when I see couples marry at an early age it makes me nervous for them, especially those who don't know the Lord or have him in the center of their lives. We also didn't start having Children right away either, we purposefully waited 4 years before we even begin to try. We needed time to get to know each other, even after the honeymoon phase! We wanted to be settled, buy a house and be established before bringing a child into the world! God still had other plans for us, when we had 2 children and then moved from Texas to North Carolina, but still- his hand was guiding and leading us each step of the way. I'm so blessed to have a husband who prays with me, walks with me, laughs with me, talks with me, listens to me and my l-o-n-g stories that are pointless, and still wants to hold my hand. I love you my darling Chris. Happy 13th Anniversary. Way to find favor with the Lord!!!

Proverbs 18:22

22He who finds a wife finds a good thing, And obtains favor from the Lord.

Unglued

Last month I was given the book "Unglued" by Lysa TerKeurst. I read the book in 2 days. It was like the book was written for me! I have had several opportunities to put to practice the things in the book. First it was with my children, then my husband, and today it was with others. I can feel myself coming unglued when I feel my side of the story is not being shared. That is my flesh rising up. I know I need to work on it. It's an area that has always been a problem for me. I strive for perfection and it can be a curse at times. I get in the way of The Lord working. I know The Lord is bigger than me and can move with or without my permission.  My point is that when I strive for things to be perfect, and they aren't, especially things that are out of my control, I get worked up and find myself defensive. I either shut down or become unglued. My mouth can easily get me into trouble. And it often does. There have been times I've slowed down God's plan, all in the name of wanting justification. I thank God that he is helping me to sense the times when I'm falling into the trap and can pull myself into his arms and hold fast to his promises. Though I can't change the way others behave, I can change how I react! Lord help me, to be more like you!

Psalm 143:3-4
Set a guard over my mouth, O LORD; keep watch over the door of my lips. 4 Let not my heart be drawn to what is evil, to take part in wicked deeds with men who are evildoers; let me not eat of their delicacies.

He's still working on me, to make me what I ought to be.... 

Staci 

Not like the rest...

Have you ever met someone who was not like the rest? Someone who didn't fit the mold? Who wasn't following the crowd or involved in self? I have. I want to be like that person. This person crosses my path often, and though I can't offer them the same blessing they are to me, I can be that blessing to someone else. I can take time to listen, take time to dream, take time to share, to hope with someone. It's amazing how our outlook is when we have someone to share it with! Loneliness is a killer of many things. If the enemy of our souls can make us feel desolate, and we take his bait, we become putty in his hands. Having someone in life that can put others first, share, serve, love, give beyond their ability is pure ammunition against the devil.

Acts 20:35
In all things I have shown you that by working hard in this way we must help the weak and remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he himself said, ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’”

Take note of that last part, it's more blessed to give than to receive. All throughout the Word of God we find scriptures that make no sense to man in the natural, but make perfect sense in the supernatural. Try telling someone who loves money that it's more blessed to give than to receive. He will call you foolish. We can't always understand God's blessings on this side of glory, we don't have that privilege.We can however, trust that the Lord is going to keep his promises to us!

What can you give today? What do you value? Is there a need you can meet? Is there someone you can offer encouragement to? A card, an email, a text? 

Our society is a "give-me" and an "entitled" type of society. We wake up thinking about how we can accomplish our goals, and take care of us. Ever think about how you can help someone else accomplish their goals? Wouldn't it be grand to spend an entire day making someone else feel accomplished and important to God? Amazing that he cares about every little detail that concerns us! 

He collects every tear in a bottle (Psalm 56:8)
 He numbers every hair on your head (Luke 12:7)
AND He knows every hurt in your heart (Psalm 34:18). 

We can share this good news with others, by serving... caring, loving unconditionally, forgiving, being there. Be where you are, not just physically, but mentally. Be there. 

Breaking the Mold,
Staci 

I Choose...

JOY! Today I choose JOY! Nehemiah 8:10b For the joy of the Lord is your strength. When you are searching for something that is lost, you spends hours, days, weeks, months, years searching. Once it is found you rejoice! Celebrate! Go overboard in joyous exultation! We accept the truth that what was lost is now found and we move forward in life. We don't question if it was truly found, we embrace it.

Often we search for answers in the Word of God and when we receive the answer, we just think on those things. We ponder, we reflect, we consider. We don't post it on social media and collect thousands of LIKES, hold a celebration, break out the fancy clothes, stay up all night sharing with others what we "found" in the Word.

Think about it.

We pray for strength and when we read in Nehemiah that the JOY of the Lord is YOUR strength, it doesn't do anything for us! We as a society would read it and say "oh that's nice" or "well that is great for some people, but it's not for me".

When we read such a text in the Word, it SHOULD prompt us to begin to DIG into the Word even more and discover what JOY is and how to share it with others! Knowing that the Joy and strength go hand in hand can be quite encouraging!

In a message I heard online, James MacDonald says, "Don't forfeit your joy! The joyful mind resolves conflict".

Philippians 4:-7 Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! 5 Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. 6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Another example is a scripture I read this week that jumped off the page and into my soul....

Psalm 66:20 Blessed be God, because he has not rejected my prayer or removed his steadfast love from me! 

Whoa! Doesn't that excited you just a little? Have you ever been rejected? Have you ever felt that God doesn't hear your prayers, or doesn't love you? His Word is TRUTH, you can't believe some of it and dismiss the rest a lie. So take that truth and put it in your heart and realize that you can CHOOSE JOY! Why? Because no matter how we may feel, he has not removed his steadfast love from us! Just like the Planetshakers song 

Nothing Is Impossible

says "I'm not going live by what I feel, because deep down I know that you are here with me,"

Staying in the Word of God will help you remember that truth deep down when the enemy attacks you in dark areas of your life. You can shine the light of the Word on him. Remember earlier this week I wrote about the armor of God? Know that the Sword of the Spirit (The Bible) is the only weapon we have to use, all the other pieces of the armor work as a protection, the sword is for both, protection and battle! Know the Word! Study it, dwell on it. Walk in it! Share it! 

I challenge you to open the Word this week and as you discover treasures in the Word, take time to celebrate it! Say it out loud! Read it to a friend, you never know how it will impact someone else who is seeking similar answers to life's difficult questions. Some people in your immediate circle are fighting such a spiritual battle right now that they can't even pray, can't open the Word, can't even see a glimmer of Hope. You can offer that peace that they are seeking- through the Word. Don't be afraid to share what the Lord is doing in your life. 

So today, I choose Joy. I put it on. What did you choose today?

Sincerely,

Staci

There is a shoe for that!

Last night, my husband preached on the Armor of God. I have heard several sermons and read many commentaries on the armor. I never grow tired of it. It always convicts me. I know there are many days when I go into my day without my armor. Or at least pieces of my armor. As he preached on the Gospel of Peace shoes, my mind begin to drift. Am I the only one this happens to? True confession of a pastors wife...hey, at least I don't sleep in church! Okay back to my drifting thoughts...

I had received new shoes for Christmas and they are just fantastic. They are shiny and make everything in life around me seem a little more exciting! I also thought about all the shoes I own. I have been blessed with feet that can't be fitted easily. Why is this a blessing instead of a curse? It keeps my shoe consumption down to a minimum. Finding shoes to fit my feet can be a task, so when I do find them, I tend to wear them to pieces. In fact, the pair that I wore to the mall when I found my new shoes, ended up in the garbage can outside of the shoe store. Gasp! I know there are people around the world who don't have shoes and I am being wasteful. Trust me, these were landfill worthy, not pass down, give away worthy. I told you I wear them to pieces.  I like having shoes for every occasion. I have hiking boots, that I've owned for 16 years, I obviously don't hike often! I have flip flops for everyday summer wear, I have flats for winter, a few wedges for days that I attempt to be taller and don't have to walk much. I have water shoes for down at the creek, so very tacky- I might add. I have tennis shoes for those days that I feel athletic and desire exercise, again those shoes aren't very worn in! I even have a pair of crocs, my very first pair. In their defense, they are very comfortable and with my feet comfort is a good thing. Though I limit myself to only wearing them in the yard or around the house. They are not to leave the property. I also own a pair of fabulous slippers. All in all I think I have about 16 pairs of shoes. These shoes keep me ready for whatever I may face in my day.

When Chris was preaching, he mentioned how the shoes of a soldier were a sign that they were ready to go into battle. Can you picture a warrior with no shoes? Imagine the middle east, hot sand, rocky terrain, and bare feet. Not a smart move. Just as much as I use my shoes to fit the occasion, I can see how the Gospel of Peace shoes are necessary for me in my spiritual battle. The great part about these shoes would be that you only need ONE pair for all situations. Think about that. What if I could invent a shoe that could convert as needed. Imagine having this "smart shoe" that would be a fancy shoe one minute and convert to a slipper when your feet grow weary. That is how the Gospel of Peace shoes work! We put them on and God will go before us, he will prepare us for what we will endure. What a thought! And best of all, it comes in WIDE width, narrow and medium! The idea that God goes before us has to encourage you just a little. If you can look past this whole post about my silly shoes and realize this one nugget, please take time to digest it!

Gal 5:16-17 (NAS) But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh. For the flesh sets its desire against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; for these are in opposition to one another, so that you may not do the things that you please.

Walk by the Spirit.... put on those shoes today, the Gospel of Peace. Be ready! Don't battle without them! Know that God goes before you. 

If you see me this week, you will probably see my fancy new shoes, don't be afraid to ask me if I put on my Gospel of Peace shoes as well!!!

Sincerely,
Wide Feet in MS

Fresh Starts, Do overs, and goals

The only difference between yesterday and today is the date. People tend to put a lot of faith into the "New Year" and seem to have a false hope of what this year can bring that would be more becoming than last year. I think people go into January with the best intentions, only to fail and find themselves back in their old ways, settling back into the way they were and being comfortable with the way it is. "It is what it is..." Have you heard that saying before? It may be, but it doesn't have to stay that way. Did you know that in Christ you are a new creation. Not just on January 1, but every day? God has this beautiful thing called grace, who's sister is mercy, who's cousin is love. They all work together. So far in my readings this morning, my favorite had to be from the devotional book "Experiencing God, Day by Day." It really hit the nail on the head for me. It was by far the most encouraging. It wasn't about setting goals, or resolutions- in fact it was quite the opposite. It was about taking all our hopes and dreams and the desires of our hearts and placing them in the Lord's hands. He is not asking us to be better, do better, he is simply asking us to obey Him. Sigh- what a relief! It brought Joy to heart knowing that what he requires of me is only possible through him. I know that by setting my heart and my eyes on Him, will cause Him to be first. With Him being first in my life, whatever comes my way- he allowed and will see me through it. I look forward to what God has in store for this upcoming year. 2014 is here, not everyone lived to see it, but I did. I was here for a purpose today. I made today count. I was purposeful in my actions, and took time to think of others, share a part of my heart, and be thankful. I was calmer with my children and even started my day with my devotions. Now the truth be told, my bills are still waiting to be paid and my dishes need to be put away. My clothes are not put up from previous trip, and the dog tore into the trash while I was away from home. So is everything peachy? Of course not. Do I serve a really big God? Yes. Is he able? Certainly. Will I always see good? Probably not, but I will try. I will work toward that. Piece by piece, little by little. Growth is not speedy, nor should it be. Slow and steady.

Isaiah 43:19 ESV

"Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert."

Peace to you, 

Staci